Hate the 'gate

Ok, it's happened once again. I now officially hate Richard Nixon and anyone associated in any way with his administration and the whole Watergate scandal. Before you accuse me of being a good American, wait until you hear why. I am sick of a trend that's got to stop. This trend? Calling every little scandal that ever occurs in the US (fill in the blank)-gate!

Right now, we are in the middle of Van Gundy Gate (as dubbed by ESPN). We also have Paula-gate. And Jennifer Wilbanks-gate. So many freaking gates!

We've had Monica-gate, Whitewater-gate, Enron-gate, steroid-gate, and seemingly every other type of -gate known to man. I for one am sick and tired of all this -gate action.

Therefore, I am proposing we remove this term from our vernacular, so that the incessant media would stop shoving it down our throats any time a hint of impropriety creeps up. I will no longer refer to anything, ever, as _________-gate...will you pledge to join me?

(Since nobody reads this blog, you probably will not.)

Jennifer Wilbanks

Can we all agree that what Jennifer Wilbanks did was wrong? She should not have lied to the world about this. That's true, and with that, I have no beef.

No, my beef comes from a different source. Specifically, the group Hispanics Across America and its President, Fernando Mateo. You may ask, "why"? Here's why:

"The Hispanic community has been hurt enough. She should apologize to us first, then her fiance and her family."

Hello? Does anyone see this? He wants her to apologize to HAA before her fiance? Am I the only one who thinks this guy is a nutjob?

Ok, so maybe her saying that she was kidnapped by a Hispanic man didn't help the cause of HAA. But she also said she was kidnapped by a white woman. Where is WPA (White People of America) or CUPD (Caucasians United for Protection from Discrimination) battling for the rights of white people? Apparently, those rights don't exist.

Forget about the wedding that her parents paid for (with 28 people in the bridal party, it was probably going to cost tons of bank). No apologies to them. Let's make sure the first apology goes to the Hispanics...even though they had nothing to do with it; she LIED about that!

Happy Wrong Number by the Sea

Have you ever looked back at television that you used to watch while you were growing up and thought about how ridiculous it looked? In my case, it's television that I still watch. The show in immediate question is "Saved By The Bell", which I still catch every morning at 7 and 7:30 on TBS.

This morning, I watched the first episode of the summer working at the Malibu Sands Beach Club. The thing that bothered me was when that dude (Norman) was drowing in the Pacific, and Kelly called out to him to warn him, then went to save him. Did you see how far out in the ocean Norman was? He had to have been in water about four feet deep...FOUR FEET! How ridiculous is that? Kelly tried to explain it away by saying that there was a "strong undertow"...yeah, that's gonna make me drown in four feet...and I can't even swim well.

Also in this episode in the convenient way that they do not explain how the group gets into the Club after hours. They did not have Stacy or Mr. Carosi (Crotchety, Grossi, Caress-me, or whatever name Zach would use to anger him) on their side, and it is hard to believe that they would be given keys to the place within their first week of employment.

Another point is how the cake says "Happy Wrong Number by the Sea". I know that Jessie screwed up on the phone numerous times, to avoid giving away the fact that they were throwing this party. However, the bakers in this episode are portrayed as morons for their inability to realize what is going on, and decorate a cake correctly. If I were a baker, I would be furious with this portrayal.

Ok, so I know I'm overanalyizing and you are probably getting ready to lambaste me with your opinion. Please do so; I look forward to hearing it. Just remember this about Mr. Belding: "Dennis can drink. You walk in to his dressing room and he's with 4 or 5 girls and all of a sudden it's you who is saying 'hey hey hey hey hey what is going on here'?"